
Taumou (Betrothal.)
The term taumou (of which Taumau is a variant form) is applied to the custom of the betrothal of young people which obtained in Maoriland. This custom was also known as whăkăpākūwhā. The little couple so betrothed, or promised, by their elders would be described as he mea karangaranga. Observe the etymology of the second term above: Whaka is a causative prefix; pa = to touch, come into contact with; kūwhā = the thighs
It is probable that the taumou was practised only among the people of good birth, and not by the common people. This is the method which the evolution of marriage rites appears to take: First, the cohabitation of man and woman, as among savages, devoid of ceremony or ritual; abduction, often forcible, of the woman. Then as a laic institution, a social arrangement, often followed by the purchase of the woman. In both of these stages the woman is treated as a being much inferior to man; she represents so much property, and can be punished, ill treated, or disposed of in any way which the husband sees fit to adopt. These modes are the usus and coemptio of ancient Rome. The third stage, as the Roman confarreatio, in which we see the adoption of a ritual, crude at first, but afterwards becoming more ceremonious as the people advance in culture. Note a passage in Letourneau's “Evolution of Marriage”: “We must note that at Rome, as in Greece, the religious ceremony was in no way essential to the marriage, which was a laic and civil institution in the first place.” Quite so, for only the upper classes had this ceremony performed at their marriages, hence is it termed the “aristocratic marriage.”
Now, the Maori was in this third stage of marriage-evolution. He was adopting, or adapting, ritual to his old-time

system. But it was essentially an aristocratic rite, for only those of high birth had the ceremony performed at their marriage; the common people were not deemed worthy of the priestly invocations or the umu kotore. They were dogs.
We return to our taumou. This was not a universal custom among the chieftain class; every girl or boy of good birth was not so betrothed. It was sometimes done for political reasons, in order to advance the welfare of the clan or tribe. These betrothals took place during the infancy of the couple. For instance, a man while visiting a village community might chance to see a little girl who took his fancy, and whom he would desire to pre-empt, as it were, as a wife for his own little son when they should have arrived at marrying age. If the girl was of equal rank to his son he would claim her by making some such remark as, “Maku tonu koe, mo taku tamaiti” (“You are for me, for my child”). And that remark would be agreed to by the elders of the girl, unless they had some special objection to him or to the proposed alliance. It would then be arranged that the two children should be married when they grew up. It would be very bad form for any person to disregard the betrothal. Should any man have sexual connection with the girl he would very probably be slain, if a commoner, and possibly cooked and eaten; for the saying of old was, “Kua eke he taumou na tetahi, kauaka hai raweke” (“Those on whom a taumou has been placed, do not interfere with them”).
After the betrothal the girl might be kept at home with her parents, or they might let her future father-in-law take her away to live at his place, and there to associate and grow up with her future husband; or she might stay alternately at each place. This custom, like many other strange ones, has long died out. The coming of the Europeans changed all these things, hence we use the past tense in describing them. Old Hauraki and his wife, of Rua-tahuna, are two of the few survivors of the last who were taumou.
A girl or boy who happened to be so betrothed was not termed a taumou: that expression simply implies the custom. A betrothed girl was not termed a puhi among the Tuhoe Tribe.
An old woman, a resident of Rua-tahuna, was betrothed during her childhood, when she was about seven or eight years of age, to one Tarei, of Ngati-Awa. After some time her aunt took her to the home of Tarei's parents, that the two children might be together. The girl remained there for some time, but did not like the idea of marrying Tarei, so her people took her back home, three days' march inland. No attempt was made by either side to coerce her. But when, subsequently, a party of Ngati-Awa visited Rua-tahuna they

made things interesting for her and her friends—But that is another story, which you will find at page 94 of Volume xxxiv. of the “Transactions of the New Zealand Institute.”
